Bridging Work and Home: HR Strategies for Supporting Employees with Suicidal Teens

What if I told you that right now, someone in your organization is quietly facing a personal crisis that makes project deadlines seem trivial by comparison? Often, the toughest challenges employees face happen outside the workplace.

In most leadership resources, you won’t find a chapter on how to support an employee whose teenage child is contemplating suicide—but maybe there should be. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for adolescents.

It's time to face the harsh reality of teen suicide and equip ourselves with the knowledge and tools to make a difference in the lives of employees and their families.

Teen suicide is a growing concern

As a former school psychologist, I've witnessed firsthand the alarming rise in suicide risk among young people. What was once a rare occurrence—four or five suicide risk assessments a school year—became more frequent, up to 30 annually, some involving children as young as eight years old.

The statistics also paint a sobering picture, especially for young people from marginalized groups:

• Suicide rates among Black teens surged 144% from 2007 to 2020
• 39% of LGBTQ+ youth contemplated suicide in the past year
• Between 1999-2020, 47,000 young people died by suicide
• Rates of preteen suicide have increased annually by 8% since 2008

Teens face unprecedented challenges

Do you have teens in your life? What are their daily worries and concerns? Adolescence has always been a challenging time, but today's young people live in a landscape fraught with unique pressures impacting their mental health, such as:

• Social media's constant presence
• Heightened self-image concerns and a rise in eating disorders
• Cyberbullying
• Violence at school

Of course, teens also experience the more timeless challenges of growing up. Combined, these factors can significantly contribute to mental health struggles that quickly escalate.

Triggers and precursors

What causes a teen to begin considering suicide as a solution to the pain of mental health challenges? Several situations can act as precursors or catalysts for suicidal ideation and related behaviors:

• Trauma or abuse
• Depression
• Substance use
• Major life transitions (e.g., starting a new school, moving)
• Anniversaries of traumatic events or losses
• Access to firearms
• Personal losses (parental divorce, breakup, etc.)
• Humiliating experiences (in-person or online)

An expert in suicide prevention once shared a powerful analogy that rings true to me. Think of these risk factors as a series of green lights on a highway. The more green lights a teen encounters (anxiety, depression, bullying, loss, trauma, etc.), the faster they're moving on the road toward crisis. 

Crucially, the fewer protective factors (stop lights in the above analogy) a teen has, the higher the risk of suicidal thoughts or behaviors.

Recognizing the warning signs

The teen years are always full of ups and downs, but sometimes changes in a young person show that something more serious is happening than normal growing up. A young person experiencing suicidal ideation may talk about feeling hopeless or feeling like a burden and discuss wanting to die.

Significant changes are also important to watch out for. For example, there might be cause for concern if a teen exhibits significant shifts in:

• Appetite
• Sleep patterns
• Friendships
• Academic performance
• Personality
• Risk-taking behaviors

Additionally, be aware that some teens in crisis may directly discuss suicide or give away prized possessions—cries for help that shouldn't be overlooked. With awareness, education, and protective factors like mental health support, there are ways to intervene for teens living with suicidal thoughts or behaviors. 

The ripple effect on families and work

When a teen struggles with suicidal thoughts, the entire family unit is thrown into crisis. Parents and caretakers find themselves in a frantic race against time, seeking support and potentially hospitalization for their child. This urgency disrupts routines and takes up a lot of energy, even when the situation isn't immediately life-threatening.

For employees navigating this terrain, the impact on their work-life is obviously quite profound and may entail the following

• Decreased productivity
• Difficulty concentrating
• Increased absenteeism
• Overall reduced performance

Understanding this reality is important for HR professionals and supervisors. There’s an opportunity here to offer meaningful support and resources to employees facing this often hidden crisis.

Redefining workplace support

Imagine an employee constantly on edge, torn between work responsibilities and the fear of leaving their suicidal teen. Guilt, worry, and exhaustion are likely realities for at least one person in your organization.

While legal protections exist for employee support and accommodations, caregivers often fall through the cracks. It's time to expand our definition of support and take concrete action. An excellent place to start involves asking yourself:

1. How might the life responsibilities and emotional challenges of employees with dependents, such as family members or children, impact their mental health and work performance?
2. How can we create a flexible environment that supports work-life balance for caregivers?
3. Are we effectively connecting employees with available mental health resources?
4. How can we promote an environment where caregivers feel safe discussing family challenges?
5. What management approaches better support employees dealing with family mental health issues?
6. How can we reduce stigma and encourage open dialogue about mental health within our teams?

I know that most HR leaders and managers are empathetic and care about their employees’ well-being. But sometimes, it can be hard to know how to start a hard conversation that leads to support, especially about a topic as difficult as teen suicide.

Difficult conversations are often necessary

Let's talk about those moments when you can see that an employee is struggling or opens up about their teen's mental health challenges. That’s your cue to start a conversation.

My basic advice is to lean more on observation in these situations. For example, “I’ve noticed that…” It can also be helpful to state upfront something like, “This isn’t a conversation about your work or productivity—this is about making sure that you’re okay.”

Here are some specific ways to approach this:

• "How can we best support you during this challenging time?"
• "Are there any accommodations to help you manage things more effectively?"
• "Would you like to explore options for additional support or flexibility?"
• "Is there anything we can do as a team to lighten your load?"

In the event of a suicide

If the unimaginable happens and an employee loses a teen to suicide, there's no perfect set of words to take away their pain, but your presence and support can make a world of difference. That person does need support, even if the conversation is awkward or hard. Here are some ways to start:

• "I can't imagine what you're going through, but we're here for you. What do you need?"
• "When you're ready, I'd like to discuss how we can support you in the coming months."
• "You are important to us. How can we help during this incredibly difficult time?"
• "Take all the time you need. When you feel ready, we can discuss what might help you navigate this loss."

Concrete support: a lifeline for families with suicidal teens

When it comes to teen mental health, we need to back up our talk of support with action. Here's what can make a difference for families:

1. Immediate access to crisis hotlines and teen therapy services that provide support during moments of acute distress.
2. Family therapy sessions help improve communication and emotional understanding between parents and teens, reducing isolation and feelings of helplessness.
3. Moving towards a supportive work environment where openness and support are the norm. There is no downside! But the advantages are huge.
4. Educational resources and workshops on recognizing warning signs, risk factors, and intervention strategies for teen suicide can empower parents to act early.

Giving employees the time to care for their mental health and their children is the other piece of this puzzle. Flexible scheduling and time off are critical when a teen is in crisis and needs to be taken to appointments or in the event of hospitalization.

The difference workplace support makes

When I worked in the school system, we had mandatory suicide awareness days where we’d have children fill out a suicide risk assessment. We might have 300 seventh and eighth graders whose assessment results meant we followed up with their parents or caregivers.

Of the families we met with, the ones who could take their children to therapy appointments and attend school meetings without worrying about being penalized for taking time off work had noticeably better outcomes. 

It was heartbreaking to have parents come in and say, “I don’t know how I’m going to deal with this. I have to work tomorrow and can’t take time off.” 

Now is the time to take action against teen suicide

It’s so important to take the mental health struggles of teens seriously. They experience adult pain, and sometimes profoundly so. It’s on us—adults, parents, and the community—to step up and help teens navigate emotional pain in a healthy way.

So, HR and benefit leaders, here's your challenge: How can you go beyond the norm? How can you create a work environment that doesn't just talk about empathy but takes action?

When you support an employee, you're not just helping one person. You're throwing a lifeline to an entire family. And in the grand scheme of things, isn't that what truly matters? You have a golden opportunity to make a difference.

Uncover the ripple effect of teen at-risk behavior on the workplace and how your organization can support working parents—boosting employee well-being and driving success.