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Many queer employees still don’t feel safe coming out at work
The increasing presence of rainbow flags and pride parades might make you think LGBTQ+ acceptance is widespread. We've come a long way with more representation in the media and important legal rights.
But when you look at the average workplace, it often tells a different story.
The fact is, 47% of LGBTQ+ employees have experienced discrimination or harassment at work. Another 46% are not out to their current supervisor. At the same time, corporations have begun pulling back on LGBTQ+ inclusion amid a backlash to diversity efforts.
I know intimately what it feels like to be psychologically unsafe at work. I’ve been queer and gender nonconforming in the deep south for my entire adult life.
That feeling of always having to be on guard and alert becomes embedded in your psyche. Unfortunately, this is a reality for many.
Social dynamics are not separate from workplace dynamics
Zooming out from the workplace, there are a multitude of anti-gay and anti-trans laws being pushed through state legislatures, bans on discussing LGBTQ+ issues in schools, and a general backlash toward queer and trans people—even as society simultaneously moves toward wider acceptance.
Both progress and pushback can happen at the same time. This is a common dynamic during times of social change.
In many states, including where I live, there are still no workplace protections for queer and trans people. This can make coming out at work feel even more terrifying. For those who do, the fear of facing real consequences is ever-present.
Barriers to coming out in the workplace
There are many polls and surveys illustrating the hardships queer and trans employees face in the workplace:
- Nearly half of LGBTQ+ employees have dealt with employment bias
- 27% of trans and nonbinary employees were denied employment, denied promotion, or fired due to their gender identity
- 33% of LGBTQ+ employees have left a job because of how they were treated by an employer
- 15% of trans and nonbinary employees report verbal harassment, physical and sexual violence at work because of their gender identity
These numbers likely explain why only about half of LGBTQ+ employees feel comfortable being out at work.
It’s hard to fully grasp the impact these statistics represent without considering the personal experiences behind them. Beneath the numbers are real stories of individuals who don’t feel safe sharing their true selves with coworkers.
The closet is a barrier to connection and belonging
One of my good friends, who works in social services, is not out at work.
They’ve often texted me to vent after overhearing coworkers saying horrible things about gay and trans people, commenting on news around LGBTQ+ issues in a negative way, and generally feeling free to be openly homophobic in the workplace—knowing there are no repercussions.
They were even directly told about someone not being hired for a high ranking position in their organization because that person was openly gay and non-gender conforming. The phrasing used was something like, “this person cannot represent our organization looking like that and being married to a woman.”
My friend told me, “Living in silence at work is awful. My partner sent me balloons and flowers for our anniversary and I had to lie about who they were from. I immediately went into panic mode and started trying to figure out how to handle it so no one would know they were from my partner. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time.”
It’s not surprising, in light of such stories, that LGBTQ+ employees are more likely to deal with mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression, and burnout. Queer and trans workers are also more likely to say their workplace environment has a negative impact on their mental health.
Coming out at work is essential to belonging
Millions of Americans identify as being on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. This number continues to grow, meaning that more and more employees will face the decision of whether to come out at work.
It also means that companies and organizations have work to do to ensure their employees feel safe coming out.
I can’t emphasize this enough: employees must feel safe at work to come out and will never fully belong when that safety isn’t present.
Cultivating a culture of belonging in the workplace is fundamental to strengthening workplace relationships, catalyzing innovation, bettering engagement, and generally creating a more interesting and diverse organization.
Unsurprisingly, 58% of LGBTQ+ employees have passed up jobs for companies they felt were not inclusive, and 40% of all employees passed up jobs for the same reason.
Employees who are out in the workplace report higher levels of happiness with their careers. Additionally, LGBTQ+ women who are out at work are half as likely to leave their workplace in the next year than people who aren’t out.
How to support employees who choose to come out in the workplace
First of all, if an employee discusses coming out with a supervisor or People leader, it’s essential to hold space for them to discuss what they need, and acknowledge and validate how they’re feeling.
Secondly, ask the employee how they feel comfortable coming out. Every individual has their own preferences and style of handling the way their identity is presented to the world.
Here are a few potential coming out scenarios:
- The employee is planning on coming out individually to coworkers, and simply wants to know that a manager or HR leader has their back
- They want to email everyone on their team and give their manager a heads up first
- They don’t feel safe at all, and would like a leader to meet individually with team members to explain that the person is coming out
For the third option, the leader can provide specific ways for teammates to be supportive to the person coming out and express how important this is, along with any relevant information, such as how to talk about pronouns at work.
Let employees take the lead and follow up with support
For People leaders who are unsure of how to handle an employee coming out, it’s best to let the employee take the lead and ask what kind of support they need. You can’t go wrong with this approach.
One of the best ways to prepare leaders for these conversations is by offering manager training on how to navigate coming out situations.
If needed, gently remind team members about the importance of creating an inclusive culture where everyone feels they belong.
Some may need a reminder of the company’s policies around discrimination and DEI. This can also be a good opportunity to invite employees to ask questions or talk through any concerns.
Changing workplace culture so LGBTQ+ employees feel safe
Creating a culture where LGBTQ+ employees feel safe to come out isn’t about one policy or a single day of awareness. Every company’s culture is unique, so there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
It’s an ongoing process that involves adapting, listening to employee feedback, and allowing LGBTQ+ employees to lead the way. Here are some steps to help create a safer, more inclusive environment:
- Implement non-discrimination policies that protect LGBTQ+ employees. In 28 states, it’s still legal to discriminate against queer and trans people.
- Provide DEI training that includes education on LGBTQ+ issues—awareness is a key part of any cultural shift.
- Create an LGBTQ+ employee resource group (ERG) if you don’t have one. It’s a great way to foster community and support.
- Use gender-neutral language in policies and healthcare benefits.
- Encourage a pronoun-friendly culture. Leaders and managers can set the example by normalizing pronoun sharing.
- Ensure policies are in place to address discrimination and follow up with those who report issues. A fair, transparent system helps employees feel safe.
- Offer fast access to mental health support through innovative EAPs with diverse providers who understand and can meet the needs of your LGBTQ+ employees.
- Provide leadership training to equip managers with the tools to support LGBTQ+ employees.
Sometimes, it’s the small things
Living as a gender non-conforming person means I never know how I’ll be treated when I walk into a business or public place. Seeing a small rainbow flag that says “all are welcome here” is really powerful.
Joining a Zoom meeting and hearing everyone introduce themselves with their pronouns lets me know there’s the possibility of connection and safety. Seeing pronouns in email signatures tells me that person is more likely to accept me.
Commit to creating a culture of belonging
Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, feedback, creativity, and a mix of different strategies.
But one thing I do know is that your employees will notice. Change builds over time—the more energy you pour into reshaping workplace culture, the safer your employees will feel coming out and being their authentic selves.
Read this blog next to go deeper into how to create an inclusive workplace, and discover the steps you need to begin.
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